(LOS ANGELES) — It’s been a tough week for Nick Cannon, who admits that he thought about taking his own life. 

On Sunday, the 39-year-old entertainer shared a somber Instagram post talking about his friend, Ryan Bowers, who had died by suicide. 

Cannon began, “Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse. 2020 is definitely the most f***** up year I’ve ever witnessed!

Bowers was an up-and-coming artist, signed to Cannon’s label, who was shot by a San Diego cop in his own home. After being in a coma, he made an impressive recovery as he relearned basic skills like how to walk and talk, however despite appearing to have come out of the tragedy stronger, Bower was still hurting and would occasionally whisper to Cannon, “Everything still hurts.” 

Cannon’s caption continued, “After waking up & barely rising from my own dark contemplation of continuing my physical existence on this planet, this powerful warrior actually had the balls to do it…. I can’t help but think if I [wasn’t] so engulfed in my own bull**** I could’ve been there for you when you finally took your life after several attempts.”

The social media post comes after a tumultuous week for Cannon. He was fired ViacomCBS — the company that owns MTV and airs his improv comedy show Wild’n Out — after receiving backlash for anti-Semitic comments he made in late June. He also announced a break from his morning radio show amid the controversy. 

It’s not all bad though, despite ViacomCBS’ decision to cut ties, Cannon will remain the host of Fox’s popular singing competition show The Masked Singer and his new syndicated daytime talk show, though delayed, is still in the works.

(The number for the 24-hour National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.) 

By Danielle Long
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