NORTH SOUND — Ensconced in Washington Park, skirting the shores of northern Puget Sound, in Anacortes, Wash., 65 campers spent a sun-soaked Father’s Day weekend together in the unique circle of raising kids with special needs or abilities. The campers were families from The Washington State Father’s Network.
“I think it was an opportunity for them to hear that they were not alone,” says CEO of Sherwood Community Services, Lance Morehouse. “And there were other dads and families that have come before them that face some of the same challenges, and it gave them some insight in how to go forward.”
The campout serves a variety of purposes, Morehouse says, including an “opportunity to connect with the Washington State Fathers Network and to gain resources that fathers and other male caregivers may need in raising their sons and daughters with disabilities with special needs.”
A summer camping trip is a common tradition for a lot of families but can easily be taken for granted. Not when you’re raising a special needs child with a learning or physical disability.
Building memories and building community support was the focus of the annual campout for the network, says Morehouse, a group of fathers helping fathers.
Sherwood Community Services, based in Lake Stevens, hosted the annual Washington State Father’s Network (WSFN) campout for the first time last weekend.
“One of the things that I noticed during the weekend,” Morehouse says, “Is some of those fathers, they might mentor fathers for the younger families. Really sharing the experiences that they’ve had and things to consider in raising your son or daughter with disabilities or special needs. That was a really positive outcome of this weekend.”
The supportive family dynamic even extended from the fathers to the siblings of the special needs children, Moorehouse elaborated, “I would say another thing that really struck me, is not only the kids with disabilities from the families who have attended in the past, but the siblings who have been coming to this picnic—some of them for decades—and now are adults and the adults without disabilities wanted to come and attend just to connect with each other as well.”
Morehouse sees it as a sign of strength and support. “So not only was it a resource for the fathers that attended and an opportunity for the fathers to spend time with kids on Father’s Day,” he tells EverettPost.com, “but even the siblings that didn’t have disabilities spoke in such heartwarming fashion about how this camp had affected them even into adult life. They said that they are going to continue to come to this (campout) for as long as they can.”
Morehouse has been involved with the Father’s Network since 1991 and last weekend’s Washington Park campout was “full of people…more than I had seen in previous camps.” He says, “a total of 65 people probably representing about 20 families. So, it was a family campout, not just for dads. Some dads came with their kids and mom stayed at home and got a little bit of rest. Many of the families–it was the whole family that came. Compared to last year there were eight people that attended and the years prior it’s been 30 to 50 (who attended), so we think that was really strong attendance.”
The goal is to build up WSFN as a resource, Morehouse says, for dads with special needs kids. “I’ll tell you, it was a great mix of both fathers who’ve been coming for many years, fathers who came maybe a decade ago and haven’t made it back since, and then first time attendees.”
The WSFN website sums the group’s efforts as an opportunity for the men to talk about whatever is important to them at that time. The other fathers can offer advice, experience or resources that are helpful.
Sherwood Community Services wants to maximize WSFN’s potential, Morehouse says, “Many people had not heard from the Fathers Network for quite some time or kept track of it and I think the way that we promoted this event as a kind of a fun event to bring your kids and your whole family to, and they latched on to that and said, ‘this is what I want to do on Father’s Day this year’.”
“We know that when fathers are more engaged in their families that the family unit is stronger”, Morehouse alludes.
Sherwood was started in 1957 by eight families of children with disabilities who were excluded from a public education. Together, they created Sherwood to prove that their children not only had the right, but the ability to learn. People with disabilities were segregated and isolated; in effect considered 2nd class citizens.
Society has advanced significantly in the past 60+ years, according to Sherwood’s website, current education and employment statistics throughout our state and county are not reflective of a truly inclusive community for people with disabilities. Sherwood strives to create an inclusive society where children and adults with disabilities have the ability to live full, independent lives as a part of their community.
Moorehouse singled-out a key colleague, Jeremy Goldsmith, the coordinator of the Washington State Fathers Network at Sherwood. Goldsmith notes, “Caregiving can be rewarding, but it can also be overwhelming. Fathers may be balancing caregiving, work, family relationships and other responsibilities. Respite and caregiver support can help reduce burnout and support family well-being.”
The WSFN, according to their website, is always looking for men who are willing to tell their story about raising a child with special health care needs and for opportunities for them to share those stories. In addition, we actively seek opportunities to promote the interests and needs of the fathers, families, and children we work with relative to issues such as inclusion, legislation, and information to the larger community.
Goldsmith continues, “fathers are involved in every stage of their child’s life. They support their children’s development, help with medical care, and often help families navigate services and systems. However, some fathers raising children with disabilities or special health care needs report feeling excluded by health care providers or service systems.”
Goldsmith, co-writing for the website InformingFamilies.org, reminds caregivers about the importance of good mental health, “Male caregivers may experience anxiety, stress, isolation and burnout as they balance caregiving with work, family life and other responsibilities. It can also be hard to find support that feels welcoming and designed with fathers and male caregivers in mind. Taking care of your own mental health is an important part of supporting your child and family. The resources below can help parents and caregivers find connection, crisis support, counseling and someone to talk to when things feel overwhelming,” adding these resources, NAMI, Perinatal Support Washington, and Psychology Today Therapist Directory.
Throughout the year, WSFN hosts various events giving dads an opportunity to connect with other dads. Some are family events while others are just for fathers. Twice a month email is sent out with resources and information to those on the group’s mailing list.
For more information about joining or supporting WSFN, click here.